ADHD THE INVISIBLE DISORDER
The 60, 70 and even 80% of the Treatment is in the family.
My first child had a remarkable development compared to the other children of his age, he walked ahead of time, he soon regulated his sphincters, he did not watch cartoons, he loved the Discovery Planet channels, and the like, he did not play with the other children, He always had a different activity, for example: while his classmates spent it at games, he read stories or stories of dinosaurs, marine species, underwater, this in kindergarten age. I thought it was normal, a matter of taste, I thought his energy was remarkable, he would be a great athlete. I was surprised with phrases like: Do you know that there are two types of piranhas? Do you know that there are so many varieties of vipers? And I mentioned them one by one while I washed dishes or cooked, I still remember his astonished face at the age of 4 while he told me and so with every kind of animal on the face of the Earth, some that in my life had never heard the names or adjectives.
But ... when this ability exceeds the rules of the school classroom, nursery, kindergarten, elementary school, and constant complaints begin to arrive, lack of class work, absence of homework, buy your material daily, bathe, dress and Seeing in 5 minutes like you didn't, being behind my son from kindergarten to high school was like going through school again. Every day I felt more frustrated and depressed. Everyone labeled me and said phrases like:
- Can't you with him?
- You consent too much ...
- He needs his mom at home ...
- The child has nothing ... just needs discipline
- You do not know him, you spend working, you know about them (I have three children)
And endless phrases, from your family, your husband, your friends, coworkers, school teachers, and the list can be endless.
I still remember when I received my son's diagnosis: mixed ADHD. What is that? I had no idea how it is, because, there were so many questions in my head, so much to understand ...
I could not spin ideas, why my son had acquired, or what the hell it was, what the doctor had placed: ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) Mixed, followed by a number of drugs, and study requests, which my soul froze, if I saw my son complete, well, happy, cheerful, somewhat restless, always thinking that he was his own age.
However, I was expelled from 3 different kinders, my marriage broke up, the elementary school became a stretch and loosen, always seeing the face of the teachers, when in fact I hated so much to put on a good face, trying not to cry in front of the teachers. What else could he do?
I hurt him so much, I punished him trying to fit into society, to satisfy my family, his teachers, “Educating my son correctly” when in fact the one who had to understand the Disorder was ME. He was happy, he is complete, he is an angel who came into my life to teach me so much.
When I managed to understand this, I took my family, and I stopped caring about the labels of others, which pointed out badly in me or my family, it is not easy, it took me a lot of training, attending to me and knowing about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder :
- What is it?
- How is it?
- Techniques and Strategies at Home
- Techniques and Strategies in the Classroom
- Social skills development
- How to make him responsible for his disorder
- ADHD caregiver
- Emotional Intelligence
- And I can name you so many more titles that I would not finish because I am still studying the wonderful world of the brain and its emotions.
Do you know how long it took me to understand that it was just my children and me? Many years, while we are struggling so much with the sociocultural and socio-family environment, that the only thing I achieved was depression, frustration, and family fracture, until a point is enough.
If others do not love you as you are, you cannot change them, the one that must understand that it is different, it is you, that your children are peculiar, that your family is fortunately different and that others can make your life a kite.
When my son entered High School, I started working with him.
Amazing, right? Before he did? I left everything to the professionals, to the specialists, and limited myself to paying and medicating it.
Many parents are afraid of the medicine, but, I'm honest, when he took his medicine I could rest.
However, when I started working with him, really, taking the part of the treatment that corresponds to me, it was not easy, but it was more than amazing, the broken maternal-affection bond was restored, I stop taking his medication, he perfectly controls his impulses, her aggressions disappeared, her hyperactivity channeled her to other areas where she performs perfectly, is filled with activities like me, and reminds me so much of me when I was single.
My life has not been easy, I suppose that of my children either, the treatment is expensive, it is an investment of time and money.
A few months ago I had to go to the High School where I attended the Nursing Technician career, I went to a call from the management, obviously, I was going with my thoughts: now what did he do? What part do you not understand? If everything goes so well at home ... what could have happened? When I enter the classroom, the teacher tells me: "You are Lalito's mother", I froze and nodded, and started looking at the floor, there were about three teachers inside the classroom, and we were the only ones, my son and I, no other Dad or Mom. My first thought: They will expel him.
Then: “Madam, let me congratulate you, you have an excellent boy, let me tell you that your son's attention has been strongly called, he is unable to answer or disrespect even with his eyes, his progress was very noticeable this semester compared to the previous one, he has A great guy".
I raised my head and in amazement I turned to look at my son, began to cry, and said: "Teacher, this is the first time that you give me such a comment about my son, his ADHD has been very frustrating for me in schools, it has always been an ordeal, they can't understand it."
Teacher: "Madam, with more reason, has done an excellent job with your son."
I was so glad I couldn't say another word, I couldn't believe it, I was in shock, I hugged my son and we walked together to the bus stop.
When I discussed it with my other children at dinner, one scoffed and my daughter tells me:really, that's great !!!
I continue to work with him and his brother, who was diagnosed 3 years ago with ADHD, where hyperactivity predominates. In addition to having depression and anxiety, I keep driving and working with my three children, I work on myself, I don't have a husband, and they don't have a father, my family thinks I'm just as crazy as my children, but all I did was: Learn to live with ADHD.
We have a disability to interact with society, too much hyperactivity that allows us to perform several activities at once, it is a hereditable disorder, this means that someone in my family has it, and that my children, my grandchildren and my descendants will have ADHD.
My children do not have ADHD.
We are an ADHD family.
Bachelor of Accounting and Finance
Diagnosed in adulthood with ADHD
Mother of 3 children, two of them with ADHD
Through FCEAAC support in comprehensive care and training in ADHD and Neurodevelopmental disorders
President of Carlos Eduardo Almanza AC Foundation (FCEAAC)
Driving force: Making the Incredible visible
Author of TDACHAZO developing talents.