Sunny days are the most difficult

Sunny days are the most difficult

“Sunny days are the most difficult,
the sun burns each of my scars. ”

I can not continue and I will not even try, I am tired of this banal and forgotten world, I do not feel the owner of any of my decisions, I have changed, I have suffered and indisputably I have improved, however, right now in front of the mirror I do not I recognize, I don't see myself reflected in him.

I left years ago without realizing it, I abandoned my family, my friends, him, even abandoned me and I didn't know it until now, now that I don't know who the girl I look in the mirror is, now that he smiles at me maliciously the loneliness and the sun no longer enters through the window, does not caress my porcelain skin, does not enter, does not call.

Your voice passes through my memories, always calm and without worry, your face relaxed and happy, even when the situation was difficult, you only took the lighter and smoked everything bad from the outside world, I could never learn that from you. Now I look at the box of cigarettes as you left it and play with the lighter waiting for you to scold me for snatching it away, because you hated wasting things, however small and insignificant they seemed.

I never managed to decipher you, I was not able to understand what was going on in your head, I am not even sure that you loved me as much as I did you, I was clumsy and foolish, I decided to live like this, without knowing the person next to me, without A real conversation in the morning, but whether you loved me or not, each moment was special and your memories cause me true happiness.

Now I sit in front of the window and whisper your name to the wind, so that the whole city cries, there is no light or life, the sky is a mixture of grays and blues, but I know that your shadow still follows me, roams the city ​​in search of peace, knowing that you will not find it, while I wait for the call of the sun and its sweet heat that torments me so much, that it does not respect the death and does not allow me to cry.

You are gone and even yesterday in front of your grave I thought it was not real.

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